in which: change is a comin

How busy I've been! Sleep was so good yesterday *blissful sigh*

A FEW THINGS:

I put in my two weeks at my cafe job - YAY!!

Ashley & James moved to Boston - BITTERSWEET.

Lisa's dog, Diamond, became ill and passed away last week - VERY SAD.

Our good friends, Corey & Amy got engaged!! So fast! 

Peanut is one of the groomsmen :)

I may have found a roommate!

Introducing the quirky and lovely: 

ALYCIA

~

I wish I had the energy to go into more detail or share more. The truth remains though that I am TIRED, and still have much to get done around here.

More soon though.

Pwomise.

I am

Olli

in which: i'm having one of THOSE days

drawing by Olli

My cafe job really pissed me off today. That's impressive I guess... not an easy thing to do.

Don't feel like going into the details, however I made sure to tell them to be expecting my two weeks notice within the next couple days. 

UGH!!!

Makin some sandwiches, taking a bottle of sangria, and headed to the river.

Inexperienced and dramatic. 

That's how I feel about the management I work with there.

Lord, help me not to punch a duck or some other innocent creature at the park.

Thanks!

I am

Olli

in which: the darkness trembles

I've struggled this week.

~

In the words of dear Lois,

"It sounds like you need courage."

And I do.

It's been hard to pin point that fact... for years, really. I need courage for so many things. The courage to go to school; find a job that I'm not just settling for. The courage, dare I say it, to get married? 

The courage to take responsibility for myself.

That's what it's time for.

That, and allowing for God to really show me what He is truly capable of.

~

"I am above nothing." "Things could be so much worse." 

&

"Because there is a God, things will always get better."

~

These are mottoes I've lived by my entire life. And to an extent, they've gotten me through. I have worked just about anywhere that would hire me. I've done everything from getting paid to pick up dog crap to running my own department on a film set. I've also served hundreds of cups of coffee and washed probably thousands of dishes. 

So what's the sudden issue?

I started doing these things (minus the film set gig) when I was 18. Now, I'm 23 and I was just washing dishes yesterday, at a cafe, paying me part time minimum wage.

*vomit*

Maybe this shouldn't bother me as much as it does. I was still humble enough to accept it a month ago when I was interviewed on the spot. I'm not sure how to make this sound like I'm not ungrateful. Because God knows- I AM! Work is hard to find right now. But you know what, it isn't for my Father. And I just feel like these last near 6 years have flown by and I'm in the same(ish) spot I was when I started. 

Granted, my heart has changed. My preferences, views & experiences have all changed. 

But I'm ready to move on now. 

I'm not 18 anymore and I have a say in where my life is headed.

EIGHTEEN

-living with other people

-not in school

-earning minimum wage

-no licence

-no car

-no boyfriend

-not in church

TWENTY THREE

-living with other people

-not in school

-earning minimum wage

-licence and insurance

-awesome car

-dating the man I'm going to marry

-attending the best church I've ever been a part of

So some things are definitely going right. Important things, thankfully. 

And I believe God is looking to bless me even further this year. 

I feel a shift in my spirit ~ like it's time for school. At the very least, like it's time to up the annie. Time for a job that will help me in the direction of my dreams.

It's a good feeling :)

I am

Olli

{ps}

This has made my life a lot easier today. I usually use any ole scrap laying around but that usually gets lost or thrown away. Not to say that this one won't too, but download it for free anyway! To-Do List created by A Pair of Pears.com

in which: i'm missin my baby

I am a blessed woman.

My Father heard my heart, my whispered prayers, my longing desires...

Because of this man, I now know a whole new side of God's love,

and I'm so much better because of it.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where;
I love straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;

so I love you because I know no other way. 
than this; where I does not exits; nor you. 
so close you hand on my chest is my hand, 
so close your eyes close as I fall asleep.
-Pablo Neruda

Ashley showed me this poem.
I love her for that.
~

Peanut's out of town.
Feels like the long distance days.

~

Lift my lover's head, Father.

Impart your tender mercies.

Remind him who is is.

~

Right before I met him, I remember thinking,

"God, I don't just want someone who serves you...

I want someone who really LOVES you."

And one day long after we'd met, during a prayer, he ended it with, "We love you, Lord. We really do."

I almost cried.

I am

Olli

in which: i called the humane society

Jess, or I guess Mia's original owner came and picked her up yesterday.

*sigh*

We'll miss you, girl. 

We loved you.

I am

Olli

in which: imma scrub me a tub

I keep putting off cleaning this afternoon... I really must clean my bathroom though. At least!

Things I would like to accomplish:

• Clean bathroom
• Vacuum upstairs - at least my room
• Consider buying a waste basket from Lois... there is a lot of trash in my room
• Shelving my books
• Wash towels
• Hang up clothes
• Wash sheets
• Make my bed
• Wash Ohana & clean her out
• Water my garden... what's left of it
• Write Peanut
• Take a shower
• Do my nails... I might put this at the top of the list.

Recently, I have been helping my friend, Lois, go through all her belongings (particularly in the garage) as she prepares to move to a new place this Summer. This morning her neighborhood had a garage sale (or allowed for residents to hold garage sales, rather), so an early morning we had! It was fun though and we just chatted and chatted, drank our coffee, greeted neighbors and haggled over prices. She worked hard for such an aged beauty! 

I guess you are as young as you feel.

Me, our friend Ana & Lois
2010

The conversation was the best part for me. It always is. Lois has such a great sense of humor and freedom to me. Her husband, the late Dow Robinson, was an incredible man. He gave the most insightful and inspiring messages... I really miss him some days. He passed in late October. More on him & Lois' history later.

But after all the hullabaloo this morning, she told me, "Don't try and tackle all that cleaning at once. Clean your bathroom; then you've accomplished something. Then be done with it and let yourself REST!" 

She may be onto something...

Anyway, semi-falling asleep here.

I think my toilet's calling.

I am

Olli

update.

No word on Jess yet... Humane Society is supposed to keep me updated but I'll probably end up calling tomorrow. I know we'd probably get along fine without her but, truth be told, I miss her.
God, give her sweet sleep tonight & help her to not be afraid. 

In other news, Civil Disobedience has come to an end. I am waiting for an email that will declare the winners! I already know who won the Grand Prize - but there is hope yet for at least a signed book! We'll see :)

More in the days to follow.

I am

Olli

in which: jess goes to jail...

Jess was picked up by Animal Control yesterday...

Apparently a neighbor called to report a dog "roaming at large". And she has been since our property has no fenced in yard (or a yard at all for that matter). I called the Humane Society this morning (they were closed by the time I found out yesterday), and apparently they were able to track down her original owner. Now it's basically a waiting game as he decides whether or not to take her back or sign her over to the HS. He took great care of her, kept up to date with all her shots & vet visits; in the end though he just didn't have the energy to keep up with her. So he gave her to family he knew. Since then they have let her get out a few times (never bothering to look for her), she's quite behind on vaccines and I personally suspect some physical abuse, as she runs away or cowers when large stick-like objects are lifted near her. 

An officer at the Humane Society told me that the "owner" doesn't want her to go back to the family he gave her to, but has to figure out if he can keep her, or has the energy for a dog anymore. They've put down my info in the case that he does sign her over. Now I just need to find a place to keep her... I'll definitely be charged with a citation if she continued to just hang around the yard. AND she'd be impounded again. 

Another thing they told me was that the original owner, as well as the other family, live about 30-40 minutes from our town. Good grief... how did she get here?? IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD?? It's so bizarre and Meemo is convinced that someone just dropped her off in a nice neighborhood, figuring someone wealthy would find her or something. Yep, that's us... rollin in the dough. HA! That might explain her car-related fears though... maybe.

The HS didn't hear from the man today but will be calling me tomorrow to give me an update on what he decides when they call him. In the mean time, I pray.

OH! 

And one more thing...

Her name is (or has been),

Mia.

I am

Olli