in which: we're at it again

Wedding #6 today.

May be the most gorgeous yet ~ on a sprawling picturesque farm!!

It's an evening event so photos should be posted tomorrow.

Till then!

I am

Olli

in which: we road trip to H-town

Remember these friends?? They got married yesterday!! I didn't really take any pics, just enjoyed being there in the moment (for once). More will come soon though as the photographer uploads them. So happy for these amazing and inspiring people ~ and so glad we got to be there!!

Here are some deets:

• Outdoor ceremony
• Indoor reception
• AMAZING little tirimisu cakes ~ instead of a cake or regular cupcakes
• My BFF Renata was the DJ {aka} DJ RenFest
• Me and Alina {my 6 yr old BFF} danced the day away!
• Peanut danced several songs with me ;)
• Alicia's sister gave the greatest toast speech
• I got a 10 lbs container full of mashed potatoes for FREE.99

It was Peanut & I's 5th wedding to attend together {at least!}. Another one is on the way next month. Aaaaaand ~ today was our anniversary. Two years. Where has the time gone...

Watch out world.

We're next.

I am

Olli

in which: i make a discovery!

A couple of weeks ago I was certified as Texas Master Naturalist, and today, I made my first exciting discovery as one: four adolescent Nine-Banded Armadillos!!

I wasn't able to snatch a pic of all four together as these little buggers were quite fast! They were adorable though as they rooted around sniffing and digging around for roots, earth worms and other insects. I could even hear their munching from beneath the shrubbery, just outside my residence. 

I got up close and tentatively pet one's soft leathery back (shhhhh), but he quickly spun around and began sniffing the air for what had touched him. The little fella sniffed the ground and looking up, made out my vague shadow against the sun (Armadillos are mostly blind) and with that, charged toward me! It freaked me out a little and I let out a yelp as I stumbled backward, knocking over my drink and tote bag I had set down. The sound of my cup scared him, so he turned around and darted into a bush, resuming his digging and rooting. It was quite hilarious actually. I don't know what I thought he would do, but I have never seen live Armadillos before and his boldness startled me. And it's strange that I have lived in Texas nearly my entire life and never seen a live Armadillo -- the state mammal. Although, in my defense, they usually only come out at night and are commonly called the "Texas Speed Bump" for blindly wandering into the streets at night and appearing the next day, dead along the roads. 

It's heartwarming however, to see that these precious leather-backs are adapting in this urban area, despite encroachment on their native habitat and loss of natural resources. 

>>>><<<<

In other news, much has changed in the last month. As I mentioned before, I have moved in with Rin & Alycia and am loving both getting to know them better and my new surroundings. I graduated from the Texas Master Naturalist Program!! Although if I want to remain certified, I must finish out my 40 hours of Volunteer Service this year. Also, I graduated from Talent Bench, that leadership series I was taking at work, and now, have applied for a Supervisor position! Exciting, but I am also a little nervous of the responsibility to follow -- I will keep you posted! 

Speaking of work, Peanut is on the job hunt again. He has begun looking around other cities and possibly, even other states. It's a huge step of faith and big risk on his part. It all makes me a little nervous to be honest... What if he moves? How long will he be gone? What does this mean for marriage plans? Engagement plans? Will I move?? WHAT IS GOD SAYING IN THE MIDST OF ALL THIS???

It's a lot to process through, and yes, it's put some strain on our relationship. Yet still, I am sure of God's promise that we will be married, that he is the one, that this is part of His plan. 

I'm not afraid of the things I was when I was a child.
I'm not afraid I'll end up in a trapped marriage to someone I thought I knew. I'm not afraid to make mistakes.  I'm not afraid that Father doesn't hear me. And I am definitely, not afraid to love.
Things are changing. And it's a funny comparison, but I almost feel like Pocahontas standing on a ledge, with the winds of change swirling about me, yet firm in who I am and the future ahead of me.

I have a peace that surpasses understanding.
And because of this, I'm content with where I am, where I'm going and in the One who is leading us there.

I am
Olli

in which: i've got girls

Today I realized just how much I miss my faraway friends...

Ashley P.

Lovely, Natural, Creative, Inspiring, Adventurous, Unique & Quirky

Jennifer

Fabulous, Wacky, Loud, Sweet, Feisty, Loving & a little Inappropriate ;)

Ashley W.

Lively, Adventurous, Hilarious, Free-Spirited, Gutsy, Talented & Bold

I cannot wait for my wedding so that I will finally have all the people I love in one room.

I love you girls!! I am surrounded by so much beauty, life & intellegence ~ I miss you everyday & am so blessed to have ya'll in my life!!!

xoxo

I am

Olli

in which: we go to a lot of weddings

Well, as for my 2012 goals, the only ones that really held up were me learning to cook and growing something. I have a fig tree sapling that continues to get bigger & has a new leaf sprouting! Dori taught me to cook, although I still don't do it very often. 

This year, I want to be a better friend, learn more Spanish (the A's let me download Rosetta Stone for FREE!), begin volunteering at Last Chance Forever again & GET MARRIED. I think it will really happen this year, I can feel it. 

~

Speaking of weddings, our friends Jaime & Emily got married this past weekend!!

The reception was simple & fun. The cutest part was when we saw them off ~ everyone blew bubbles around them & they rode of on bikes! So. Cute.

And Jaime's grandmother made these beautiful hand painted wooden crosses as favors, along with bags of whole bean coffee.

something blue..

We had so much fun! The whole thing was sweet, well put together & totally stress free. Obviously, only good things come out of Fernandez weddings ;) {my love & I met at Jaime's sister's wedding}

Lisa, babe & me

This year is going to be the best one yet.

And to help keep track of my goals, I'm going to be using a site called MySubplot.com, which is an idea based on Don Miller's new book Storyline. It's awesome and lays it out so that you can write your goals out as a story. There's the goal itself, your ambitions behind it, anticipated conflicts and climactic points in the journey, etc. You fill in all the details! Very helpful and makes it so you can actually visualize what it will require to make them happen. 

I highly recommend! 

I am

Olli

in which: i can't make myself

I am getting to know my Father in a whole new light recently.

He is a force through which miracles are not only possible ~ but are HAPPENING.

I'm learning how to pray, how to seek first His kingdom, how to act on the faith He instills in me.

I had no idea what that looked like a few days ago. "Ok, 'seek first the kingdom' - NOW WHAT??"

Some things really are as simple as asking though. I realize now how often I sit and wonder and dwell on how to do something, over analyze it, stress about it, worry over it until... it's just easier to forget about it. 

Change is hard. "The Kingdom" sounds scary sometimes... so foreign. Sometimes I wish for the ignorance of a child; my conscience would feel so much better if I just didn't know about certain things. And yet, the books in bag this moment are about starving children in Africa and another on discovering a a life not under or even for God - but WITH God. 

I can't make myself close my eyes.

I can't rewrite a different upbringing.

I can't erase the terrible mistakes I've made.

But I can say, "What do you have for us today, Papa?"

I can pray for the lonely and hurting and fatherless. 

I can lay hands on the sick.

And the thing is, I don't have to be good at it for to matter!

What I can accomplish was never the point, but my merely making myself available ~ THAT is where miracles are born. I am an ordinary, white and westernized human being. I grew up in a household with a screaming father and fearful mother. I have "been in love" way too many times for it to be true, never make time for exercise and cuss a lot. I'm not that different than a lot of girls I know. 

God doesn't require for anything about us to be perfect, unique or clean.

By saying, "Here I am. Show me how. Show me where. I am willing. I will go." Within the heart of man and the love of God is where the world changes. 

God: such a funny, wild, relentless and wondrous lover. 

 Perhaps what has been reawakened in me lately is something I knew as a child...

I forgot... He was my friend. 

(this movie changed my life)

I am

Olivia

in which: it is 12/12/12

Forgive me dear friends! I have neglected you too long. The Christmas season is in full swing and if I'm not working, I'm either shopping for gifts or cleaning. I must say that the shopping feels a little easier this year and I think I have Pinterest to thank. Also, I'm trying to do more handmade gifts as well. Yay!

I've a candlestick burning a pair of cozy, striped socks on finally. A cold front blew in last night and I am oh so thankful. About time Texas!! I'm hoping it lasts through till Christmas. Usually "Winter" occurs about the time of New Years and through January. Sure wish we had snow though...

~

Thanksgiving with the Etheredges (babe's family) was so fun! Black Friday was my favorite part. Yes there was shopping, but mostly for the fun time I spent with Vanessa & Hannah, Peanut's sisters. Lots of laughing, hunting & coffee. We literally shopped for like 12 hours. Vanessa & I spent 3 hours at World Market alone! We also got to see some precious friends, like Shaffer, Travis, Jim & his daughters.

I love the people in Mobile.

~

As far getting to see AW during our stop in Houston... well, once again, it just didn't work out. Waa! She was planning on leaving that weekend to go be with her family in Pasadena for Thanksgiving. But as we were driving there, she had to leave rather suddenly for Pasadena right then. We were sad. But the letters continue and our friendship remains strong. Oh how I would love to see her though!

~

As for Christmas, it looks like I shall be spending it here between the A's and my grandparents. Perhaps even the Hernandez's. Peanutty will be driving back to Bama... is it terrible that it makes me a tiny bit happy he'll be sad without me? I may even be able to fit in a letter while he's away! I so love writing to him :) 

~

Well, it's off to dreamland for me. Need to be up early for coffee with Renata. PLUS - the date is 12/12/12! So many people are going to get married today. This day will never happen again... but then I guess everyday is like that. 

~

GOD, YOU ARE SO GOOD TO US!! WE LOVE YOU & PRAISE YOU FOR THE WORK ARE DOING IN US, FOR THE LIFE YOU GAVE FOR US & FOR THE REMINDER OF ALL WE'VE BEEN GIVEN... YOU ARE PRECIOUS & HOLY & LOVED. THANK YOU THAT WE ARE THAT IMAGE TO YOU AS WELL. MAY YOUR JOY ABOUND IN THIS SEASON & THROUGH ALL SEASONS!! HELP US TO SEE BEYOND OURSELVES & OUR OWN DESIRES. SHOW US HOW TO SEEK FIRST YOUR KINGDOM IN ALL WE DO, THROUGHOUT THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES. WE LOVE YOU, ABBA.

amen.

I am

Olli

Corey & Amy Powell

Amy's Mom!

The words to describe this past weekend...

The Powell wedding was probably the best I have been to yet. So many crazy and amazing people - so many FRIENDS! These people are my family. Each day was fun, full of growth and relaxing. Beautiful, does not begin to cover the ceremony, and Amy walked down the aisle to a classical piece from Pride and Prejudice (2005 version) that was absolutely perfect. She was like an angel.  Her brothers walked her down and when asked who was to give her away, they both heartily consented,

"We do."

>>>>><<<<<

The inside jokes and fun memories are too numerous to count.

All I know is this weekend has become one of my favorites.

Sebastian introducing Renata (my BFF & neighbor/his sister) to the game he invented:
BEEF SLAP!

Sebastian ~ Peanut's roommate

I am

Olli

in which: i've a lumineer love

Nope... not a Turn It Up Tuesday. But I am digging these guys so much I can't help myself. Just bought the album (though I've been listening to them for months). Burning a copy for Ohana (my car) & I to jam out to on our travels. Do yourself a favor world... go have a listen. Your ears will thank you!

Also, thank you to babe for introducing me to them!

I am

Olli

in which: the world needs people that come alive

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living

I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal

and not betray your own soul.

If you can be faithless

and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty

even when it is not pretty

every day.

And if you can source your own life

from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure

yours and mine

and still stand on the edge of the lake

and shout to the silver of the full moon,

"Yes."

It doesn't interest me

to know where you live or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up

after a night of grief and despair

weary and bruised to the bone

and do what needs to be done

to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know

or how you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand

in the center of the fire

with me

and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom

you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you

from the inside

when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone

with yourself

and if you truly like the company you keep

in the empty moments.

© 1995 by Oriah House, From "Dreams Of Desire"

in which: it's something sweet

Our first Christmas together.

It's an interesting thing to feel so good about a person for "so long".

It hasn't been long at all, really. One year and it's flown by.

~

Tonight Peanut drove me home after church. Nothing fancy or out of the norm.

Quite mundane, you could even describe it.

But constant are these displays of his affection, his strength, his devotion. 

The simplest event is an adventure; the smallest gift a treasure.

HE LOVES ME.

Even now... it's a gift to realize it.

This love we share...

it's something sweet.

I know no other way to explain it.

I am

Olli

in which: change is a comin

How busy I've been! Sleep was so good yesterday *blissful sigh*

A FEW THINGS:

I put in my two weeks at my cafe job - YAY!!

Ashley & James moved to Boston - BITTERSWEET.

Lisa's dog, Diamond, became ill and passed away last week - VERY SAD.

Our good friends, Corey & Amy got engaged!! So fast! 

Peanut is one of the groomsmen :)

I may have found a roommate!

Introducing the quirky and lovely: 

ALYCIA

~

I wish I had the energy to go into more detail or share more. The truth remains though that I am TIRED, and still have much to get done around here.

More soon though.

Pwomise.

I am

Olli

in which: the darkness trembles

I've struggled this week.

~

In the words of dear Lois,

"It sounds like you need courage."

And I do.

It's been hard to pin point that fact... for years, really. I need courage for so many things. The courage to go to school; find a job that I'm not just settling for. The courage, dare I say it, to get married? 

The courage to take responsibility for myself.

That's what it's time for.

That, and allowing for God to really show me what He is truly capable of.

~

"I am above nothing." "Things could be so much worse." 

&

"Because there is a God, things will always get better."

~

These are mottoes I've lived by my entire life. And to an extent, they've gotten me through. I have worked just about anywhere that would hire me. I've done everything from getting paid to pick up dog crap to running my own department on a film set. I've also served hundreds of cups of coffee and washed probably thousands of dishes. 

So what's the sudden issue?

I started doing these things (minus the film set gig) when I was 18. Now, I'm 23 and I was just washing dishes yesterday, at a cafe, paying me part time minimum wage.

*vomit*

Maybe this shouldn't bother me as much as it does. I was still humble enough to accept it a month ago when I was interviewed on the spot. I'm not sure how to make this sound like I'm not ungrateful. Because God knows- I AM! Work is hard to find right now. But you know what, it isn't for my Father. And I just feel like these last near 6 years have flown by and I'm in the same(ish) spot I was when I started. 

Granted, my heart has changed. My preferences, views & experiences have all changed. 

But I'm ready to move on now. 

I'm not 18 anymore and I have a say in where my life is headed.

EIGHTEEN

-living with other people

-not in school

-earning minimum wage

-no licence

-no car

-no boyfriend

-not in church

TWENTY THREE

-living with other people

-not in school

-earning minimum wage

-licence and insurance

-awesome car

-dating the man I'm going to marry

-attending the best church I've ever been a part of

So some things are definitely going right. Important things, thankfully. 

And I believe God is looking to bless me even further this year. 

I feel a shift in my spirit ~ like it's time for school. At the very least, like it's time to up the annie. Time for a job that will help me in the direction of my dreams.

It's a good feeling :)

I am

Olli

{ps}

This has made my life a lot easier today. I usually use any ole scrap laying around but that usually gets lost or thrown away. Not to say that this one won't too, but download it for free anyway! To-Do List created by A Pair of Pears.com

in which: i'm missin my baby

I am a blessed woman.

My Father heard my heart, my whispered prayers, my longing desires...

Because of this man, I now know a whole new side of God's love,

and I'm so much better because of it.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where;
I love straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;

so I love you because I know no other way. 
than this; where I does not exits; nor you. 
so close you hand on my chest is my hand, 
so close your eyes close as I fall asleep.
-Pablo Neruda

Ashley showed me this poem.
I love her for that.
~

Peanut's out of town.
Feels like the long distance days.

~

Lift my lover's head, Father.

Impart your tender mercies.

Remind him who is is.

~

Right before I met him, I remember thinking,

"God, I don't just want someone who serves you...

I want someone who really LOVES you."

And one day long after we'd met, during a prayer, he ended it with, "We love you, Lord. We really do."

I almost cried.

I am

Olli

in which: mountains move

photo by Ashley Wells

My love is changing his life for me today. Today marks day one of us living in the same city, the same state, near the same people. I can't explain what this feels like. It's a huge step for him (having lived in the same small town his whole life) and a tremendous statement to me. The last six months of getting to know each other have been amazing and beautiful, but now we'll be get to explore that beauty within an entire new realm. I like how that sounds... to explore. Like this relationship could be an underwater reef or forest canopy, full of heights, depths, bends and surprises.

And for once, someone's not demanding that I come to them. Someone understands that I need a home too. A man cares for me, more than himself or his own comfort. This love has been an extension of our Father's love for us, through each other. "Just the tres of us", as babe would put it.

Today, God is moving mountains.

I am
Olli

in which: love is

I am

Olli