in which: I've been away because...

I've given up coffee. For now.

I'm obsessed with The Oh Hellos. Can't stop listening!

Applied for a trainer position at work ~ could be getting a promotion!!

Peanut & I are getting caught up in the show Downton Abbey. We flew through the first season in TWO days!

Book Club: we're reading With by Skye Jethani

Cleaning Lois' house after her recent move. She's off to Oklahoma at 83!

Peanut, Dori, Lisa & Me

I am

Olli

in which: i'm here and gone again

Woke up at about 4am this morning. 

Took Bill & Dorothy to the airport, picked up milk at Walmart, then came home. 

My new home.

Yes, I miss the old one too. My room and the lush front garden and the secret room and the view from the hilltop at night. But here I have gained a new family that I loved before I even lived here. I feel so blessed. 

I won't be able to settle in just yet though; this evening Peanut, Lois & I will be driving up to Camp Buckner for our church's annual Family Camp. Ugh... I'm so tired of packing! We'll be gone until Monday and then immediately after I'll begin orientation and training for Whole Foods (my new PT job! Still at my current one too). This weekend Brian Emmet will be speaking which is really exciting because he is the pastor of the church Ashley & James go to in Boston! I think I may write a letter to send off with him :) 

~

Lots to do before we leave! 

More when we return next week.

I am

Olli

in which: the darkness trembles

I've struggled this week.

~

In the words of dear Lois,

"It sounds like you need courage."

And I do.

It's been hard to pin point that fact... for years, really. I need courage for so many things. The courage to go to school; find a job that I'm not just settling for. The courage, dare I say it, to get married? 

The courage to take responsibility for myself.

That's what it's time for.

That, and allowing for God to really show me what He is truly capable of.

~

"I am above nothing." "Things could be so much worse." 

&

"Because there is a God, things will always get better."

~

These are mottoes I've lived by my entire life. And to an extent, they've gotten me through. I have worked just about anywhere that would hire me. I've done everything from getting paid to pick up dog crap to running my own department on a film set. I've also served hundreds of cups of coffee and washed probably thousands of dishes. 

So what's the sudden issue?

I started doing these things (minus the film set gig) when I was 18. Now, I'm 23 and I was just washing dishes yesterday, at a cafe, paying me part time minimum wage.

*vomit*

Maybe this shouldn't bother me as much as it does. I was still humble enough to accept it a month ago when I was interviewed on the spot. I'm not sure how to make this sound like I'm not ungrateful. Because God knows- I AM! Work is hard to find right now. But you know what, it isn't for my Father. And I just feel like these last near 6 years have flown by and I'm in the same(ish) spot I was when I started. 

Granted, my heart has changed. My preferences, views & experiences have all changed. 

But I'm ready to move on now. 

I'm not 18 anymore and I have a say in where my life is headed.

EIGHTEEN

-living with other people

-not in school

-earning minimum wage

-no licence

-no car

-no boyfriend

-not in church

TWENTY THREE

-living with other people

-not in school

-earning minimum wage

-licence and insurance

-awesome car

-dating the man I'm going to marry

-attending the best church I've ever been a part of

So some things are definitely going right. Important things, thankfully. 

And I believe God is looking to bless me even further this year. 

I feel a shift in my spirit ~ like it's time for school. At the very least, like it's time to up the annie. Time for a job that will help me in the direction of my dreams.

It's a good feeling :)

I am

Olli

{ps}

This has made my life a lot easier today. I usually use any ole scrap laying around but that usually gets lost or thrown away. Not to say that this one won't too, but download it for free anyway! To-Do List created by A Pair of Pears.com

in which: imma scrub me a tub

I keep putting off cleaning this afternoon... I really must clean my bathroom though. At least!

Things I would like to accomplish:

• Clean bathroom
• Vacuum upstairs - at least my room
• Consider buying a waste basket from Lois... there is a lot of trash in my room
• Shelving my books
• Wash towels
• Hang up clothes
• Wash sheets
• Make my bed
• Wash Ohana & clean her out
• Water my garden... what's left of it
• Write Peanut
• Take a shower
• Do my nails... I might put this at the top of the list.

Recently, I have been helping my friend, Lois, go through all her belongings (particularly in the garage) as she prepares to move to a new place this Summer. This morning her neighborhood had a garage sale (or allowed for residents to hold garage sales, rather), so an early morning we had! It was fun though and we just chatted and chatted, drank our coffee, greeted neighbors and haggled over prices. She worked hard for such an aged beauty! 

I guess you are as young as you feel.

Me, our friend Ana & Lois
2010

The conversation was the best part for me. It always is. Lois has such a great sense of humor and freedom to me. Her husband, the late Dow Robinson, was an incredible man. He gave the most insightful and inspiring messages... I really miss him some days. He passed in late October. More on him & Lois' history later.

But after all the hullabaloo this morning, she told me, "Don't try and tackle all that cleaning at once. Clean your bathroom; then you've accomplished something. Then be done with it and let yourself REST!" 

She may be onto something...

Anyway, semi-falling asleep here.

I think my toilet's calling.

I am

Olli