NaNoWriMo - Day 5

Almost a week in and things are not going well my friends. 

Peanut and I are leaving Wednesday for Corey & Amy's wedding and there is SO. MUCH. TO. DO.

I need Ohana worked on, I need to buy gifts, I need to help Dorothy pack a little, I need to do laundry, I need to frickin pack MYSELF, I want to have dinner with my grandparents and need to do all this in between work. 

Oh yeah. 

AND I NEED TO WRITE A BOOK!! 1700+ WORDS A DAY!!!!

I still have hope that I can get most of the way through this month. I don't plan on winning at this point, but some progress is better than having done nothing at all. 

~

Another thing is that Peepaw (my grandpa) was in the hospital all last week. He suffered a minor stroke and although he and Meemo (grandma) are back home now, he is still recovering. So I have been much concerned over that. Also, I have a house to clean - part of my living arrangement here.  

SO. MUCH.

Say a prayer for me!

I am

Olli

in which: the darkness trembles

I've struggled this week.

~

In the words of dear Lois,

"It sounds like you need courage."

And I do.

It's been hard to pin point that fact... for years, really. I need courage for so many things. The courage to go to school; find a job that I'm not just settling for. The courage, dare I say it, to get married? 

The courage to take responsibility for myself.

That's what it's time for.

That, and allowing for God to really show me what He is truly capable of.

~

"I am above nothing." "Things could be so much worse." 

&

"Because there is a God, things will always get better."

~

These are mottoes I've lived by my entire life. And to an extent, they've gotten me through. I have worked just about anywhere that would hire me. I've done everything from getting paid to pick up dog crap to running my own department on a film set. I've also served hundreds of cups of coffee and washed probably thousands of dishes. 

So what's the sudden issue?

I started doing these things (minus the film set gig) when I was 18. Now, I'm 23 and I was just washing dishes yesterday, at a cafe, paying me part time minimum wage.

*vomit*

Maybe this shouldn't bother me as much as it does. I was still humble enough to accept it a month ago when I was interviewed on the spot. I'm not sure how to make this sound like I'm not ungrateful. Because God knows- I AM! Work is hard to find right now. But you know what, it isn't for my Father. And I just feel like these last near 6 years have flown by and I'm in the same(ish) spot I was when I started. 

Granted, my heart has changed. My preferences, views & experiences have all changed. 

But I'm ready to move on now. 

I'm not 18 anymore and I have a say in where my life is headed.

EIGHTEEN

-living with other people

-not in school

-earning minimum wage

-no licence

-no car

-no boyfriend

-not in church

TWENTY THREE

-living with other people

-not in school

-earning minimum wage

-licence and insurance

-awesome car

-dating the man I'm going to marry

-attending the best church I've ever been a part of

So some things are definitely going right. Important things, thankfully. 

And I believe God is looking to bless me even further this year. 

I feel a shift in my spirit ~ like it's time for school. At the very least, like it's time to up the annie. Time for a job that will help me in the direction of my dreams.

It's a good feeling :)

I am

Olli

{ps}

This has made my life a lot easier today. I usually use any ole scrap laying around but that usually gets lost or thrown away. Not to say that this one won't too, but download it for free anyway! To-Do List created by A Pair of Pears.com

in which: imma scrub me a tub

I keep putting off cleaning this afternoon... I really must clean my bathroom though. At least!

Things I would like to accomplish:

• Clean bathroom
• Vacuum upstairs - at least my room
• Consider buying a waste basket from Lois... there is a lot of trash in my room
• Shelving my books
• Wash towels
• Hang up clothes
• Wash sheets
• Make my bed
• Wash Ohana & clean her out
• Water my garden... what's left of it
• Write Peanut
• Take a shower
• Do my nails... I might put this at the top of the list.

Recently, I have been helping my friend, Lois, go through all her belongings (particularly in the garage) as she prepares to move to a new place this Summer. This morning her neighborhood had a garage sale (or allowed for residents to hold garage sales, rather), so an early morning we had! It was fun though and we just chatted and chatted, drank our coffee, greeted neighbors and haggled over prices. She worked hard for such an aged beauty! 

I guess you are as young as you feel.

Me, our friend Ana & Lois
2010

The conversation was the best part for me. It always is. Lois has such a great sense of humor and freedom to me. Her husband, the late Dow Robinson, was an incredible man. He gave the most insightful and inspiring messages... I really miss him some days. He passed in late October. More on him & Lois' history later.

But after all the hullabaloo this morning, she told me, "Don't try and tackle all that cleaning at once. Clean your bathroom; then you've accomplished something. Then be done with it and let yourself REST!" 

She may be onto something...

Anyway, semi-falling asleep here.

I think my toilet's calling.

I am

Olli

in which: i attempt to organize my life

My life has a somewhat messy order to it. I usually know where everything is and though not everything has a compartment, my belongings all have their properly assigned home somewhere in my room. Unfortunately, the home of all my important papers, bills and pay stubs has become a giant dresser drawer. No bueno. Another problem within my lair is that it is exploding with books... I have one actual shelf and two cardboard boxes (make-shift shelves). The rest are are all in neatish piles on my desk, nightstands, a corner table and lined along my bedroom walls. That's not even including the library living in my car!

Hence, exploding.

So I've decided that one of my goals this year will be to better organize my life in one new form a month. I feel like if I can accomplish 6 out of 12 months, I will be happy. And with a limitless supply of crazed DIY online resources, this shouldn't be hard. Disorganization, we are OVER! I hope :)
Some areas I'd like to fix:

• Paper work
• Books
• Clothes
• Shoes
• Momentos
• Craft materials

{PS}
This morning a little red cardinal came and tapped on the glass of a back window in our house. "I'm hungry! Dish out the breakfast!", he demanded. To which my Peepaw gingerly responded and spread out handfuls of sunflower seeds on the terrace. I love this place.

I am
Olli